If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
