He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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