The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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