also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
