They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
