ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
