the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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