while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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