READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I would fuck him just for his dog
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
