What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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