Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
