Where is the hickey?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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