Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
