Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
