Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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