He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
