Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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