Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
