I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
