feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
