HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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