Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
