May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
