You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.