im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks