he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?