I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
from now on my penis is your penis
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.