just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.