Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!