Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
organizing the empties. That sober.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
