If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize