i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
