So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
