Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
