so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
