on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
