I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
