why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize