wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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