Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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