Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
