You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
