either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
