I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
