it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
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When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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