she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize