He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
