when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
