We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
