"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
