We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize