tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize