Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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