She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
