Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
