My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
