if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize