I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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