Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
operation harelip BJ is a go
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
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she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
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I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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