Betty ford says i'm here all night
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
