My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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