Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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