i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize