ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The power of my boobs compel you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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