Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
