that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother