you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"