p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
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They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.