Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
