margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
