omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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