Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
