There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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